Tuesday, March 29, 2011

On Cowardice

I have a problem.

I'm scared of the blank page of MS Word, that large, white, relentless expanse that evaporates my words into dilapidation. And while this is a pretty common fear, it poses a particular problem when my entire college career (and future one, I hope) is dependent on writing.

You see, regardless of how I come off, I'm actually a huge coward. I'm scared of my own freaking shadow. And I think the reason I avoid the wordless .doc like the plague, more than anything, is that I'm afraid of what I'll end up with, or more specifically, that what I'll end up with won't be good enough or worse, good at all. If I don't try at all, then I can't be bad. Unfortunately, I can't be good either. I would be nothing at all.

I'm scared of the judgment. Your writing is a little convoluted, Esther. Your writing could do without that paragraph. You could do without that paragraph. You sound contrived. You sound archaic. You are unoriginal. You are just not good enough.

Where do I get my value from?

Time to buck up and write that essay.

(photos via pinterest)

No comments: