Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The luckiest kinds of people

Norman and I got in a... scuffle today. And by the way I handled it, I think I've got a ways to go, but I also think I've come a long (looooong) way.

I won't disclose the details of the fight because it's irrelevant, but the fact is we had our first disagreement in a while. And we sat down and talked about it. And I said how I felt and he said how he felt. And then I apologized. All of this occurred after I gave him the cold shoulder for a few hours, but nevermind that. I felt very adult.

It showed me how much I've learned from just life without even realizing it. Can I let you guys in on something (based on my extensive dating experience, which sadly at 22, I can actually say)? It's never worth it. It's just not. Whatever you're telling yourself you deserve or how he/she wronged you, and while you're in the middle of your self-important indignant internal tirade, let me stop you. You. Do. Not. Want. To. Go. There. Most fights come out of our self-centered tunnel vision -- when all we can think about is ourselves, the madness is unending because who wouldn't want to fight for their idea of a perfect world?

This obviously has more than a few exceptions:
+ This isn't for those times when it's something real serious, like, let's say... domestic violence. If that ish goes down, you need to talk to someone and take some action ASAP.
+ It is for those times he leaves the toilet seat up when you asked him not to, or when he doesn't say hello in the exact way you saw that playing out in your head, or basically, whenever he can't read your mind. Everyone has neuroses. Just let it go.
+ This is for those relationships with the security of love; when you know these fights, these whatevers don't matter because in the end, you know the love is there. The fights are miniscule compared to the love. (This applies to family, friends, any kind of relationship. And I imagine that's what marriage is like, too, although you couldn't take my word for it.)

It's the end of the day, the turbulence has subsided, and all I can do is look at Norman and think, "We are the luckiest of people."

(photo via pinterest)


Heidi said...

You know what's funny? I would usually think that reading something like this would make me go all "harumph" and feel bitter and sad, but I am nothing but overjoyed for you. Truly. :) I hope your love only continues to grow and become more beautiful by the day, Dearest Esther <3.

bvp said...


i love you. you are lovely.